I have so much to say at the moments.. I didn't know where to begin or how to use words to describe my multi layers of emotions...so perhaps I shall just begins with something on my mind now
"What makes you the happiest man/woman?"
A few things I learn today:
1. I learn some strange ways of how money works and its effects on people. It's a little like drug it seems. Because it's funny to see someone dear to me so happy because of money. It's been a long time since I see such glow. How money could actually feed someone's ego and then rob off someone's dignity when it's gone. It's still the same object. A piece of paper if we look at it physically. A currency because someone tells a story that followed by many stories to give this piece of paper "value". It's just as good as decorative items to some extent. I didn't know how to explain very well on this at the moment. I have very mixed feelings on that. Very. I almost tear because I see the glow that I long to see for so long...so long.. Guess I felt really happy for him..or simply to see that glow means a great lot to me. But at the same time, I felt really sad, I almost tear because at that very moment, it is the money that sparks that glow. That piece of paper. That currency determined by stories.
2. "Giving is the best gift you can give for someone." - this came into my mind as I writes this. I have been in a business of giving, encouraging people to give gifts. I told stories. Stories to weave values into those gifts - just like currency. To some extent, people purchase gifts based on the stories either told by me or themselves. Gifts become currency. They are bought by people based on the story of their currency aka "value". Well, and what is this currency for? Perhaps, the same thing in some sense, "Ego and Dignity". People would say they buy gifts with higher value (grander stories told) for others because they respect them. But in actual fact, perhaps in addition to respecting others, they are feeding their ego. The ability to give something of higher value feeds their ego, like a cocktail of success in the mouth..and perhaps an Olympic torch in the hand = Power! And of course, when one has power, they naturally feel dignified. Self esteem boosted. They feel worthy and perhaps respectable. It's a reflection. It is. I'm not saying giving gifts are not good. I'm just thinking there is a whole lot depth to ponder and learn about others and ourselves when we give. I was so taken aback and had this fear for money when I see that glow. That smile. That laugh that he is trying so hard to contain. But that's when he told me all ways he want to use the money. I loosen up. My heart regains its beats. My body regains its warmth.
He went on saying about how he could now has the possibility of clearing a burden for someone dear to him. He could perhaps send his kids to take up courses. I don't quite remember what else he mentioned in between. But only towards the end, he said and perhaps he could now go to the dentist. He could fix his teeth which have been giving him pain and difficulty in chewing solid food. My heart sank, I felt the pinch, or more than that, perhaps something pricking into my heart. I felt the pain. But I didn't shed a tear until now when I recount on those moments and writing this out, baring my heart. Ultimately, a lesson learn here; Having money is not enough to make you happy. It is having that ability to give (be it money, or anything else) that makes one happy eventually. It is the ability to give.
3. It is the ability to give what one deem good or even great for someone that makes him/her happy. However, it is the receiver's genuine appreciation, gratitude for the gift that makes the happiness full and abundance. Understanding this will explain why there are so many people whose happiness is not full even when they give. Hence, an important lessons learn here; Giving takes two hands to clap as well. Give Good. Receive with gratitude.
4. To me, nothing is greater, happier than having my loved ones close to me so I can give and receive with gratitude. I don't have to be rich. I just have to remember the beauty of giving and that money isn't all you can give. We are all here to give. Everyone has something to give that money can't buy. Give that. And whether we are aware of it or not, we are giving something every moment. It could be as simple as a smile, a nod of head to a stranger. We may not see the significance in that simple gesture, but have we ever wonder maybe a smile is just what the stranger need most at that moment and he/she has received your smile with so much gratitude.
5. Happiness is about perspective.
6. Giving is joyful when we think of others first.
