Hope, Dream, Love and Trust

My heart goes to people out there

Reading the news on storm approaching the big apple and felt so glad that we are here safe from the storm, but my heart goes out to those people out there. It must be terrifying to be told a life threatening storm approaching their homes and that they have to evacuate, leaving all their belongings. "Nature is much more powerful than us" as quoted in the news..knowing this how would you feel? what would you do? There is nothing one could do but to stay together for as long as possible and brace themselves through it. There is nothing one could really bring except themselves. Looking within and beyond, we could spend years accumulating our assets, the so call belongings, but eventually do they really belong to us? Probably not. Nothing can really belong to us except ourselves. If everyone were to have these in mind before nature throw us in a dire situation, will we be happier? Will we then be more comfortable with ourselves and be contented? 

Humans perhaps are not as weak as nature can deem us to be. We just have to learn to go with the flow so we can ride through such adversity..like how many small little creatures, living being have survived through centuries. Perhaps it's a reminder for us to be in tune of what we are made of and our purpose on earth and the strength that made us uniquely human. For us who are watching these news, let us pray for them and garner the strength for people out there.

We just have to believe that everything will be fine eventually. 

And guess this is faith.

List of "don't know"

List of things that Bird just realise Bee didn't quite know:

1. that bird sleep standing

2. that facebook chatbox is somehow linked to message box

3. that she don't need to wind the watch one round to change the date on the watch

Wilderness in somewhere out there^_^

 Bee can't stop moving!!! (can see from all the blur haha)

 Live, love, laugh!!!

 and of course this is us!!! Bird & Bee having fun snapping our own photos!!!

and all these happen in..............(make a guess!?)

Bird's "perch on" place!!! 

Mcdonald's!! amazing isnt it! 

Love it when we can just make simple day so fun!!!

Little part one

We were finally @ Little part one cafe after mentioning it for a long time!

The food is nice..the place is casual and laidback! so here's our mr Owl receiving his kisses!! with beer pouring from the beer bottle with a red owl! hehe

Soul of love

I love these photos that Bird sent me so so very much!!!! Horse! and long white dress!! embraced by nature! my dream!

dark cocoa

Thanks to Bird for such lovely DARK CHOCOLATE!!! makes me smile!!!

Reflection of the soul

I'm so in love with this picture taken by Bird..
reminds me of the reflection I saw from the puddle of water at queenstown before I bump into Bird at teahouse which kind of leading me accepting myself and a new path.. guess reflection has kind of a therapeutic healing effect on bee..it clears my thoughts cleanse the mind..for a way to connect to the heart's deepest nature.. +*LOVE*+

Finer things in life - Love

Came across these Ashlyne's jewelries and am so charmed by its nature inspired design and the fluid flow and elegance..most of all makes me feel all so feminine.. hehe ^_^  and I certainly in love with the quote " Each sunrise gives hope to your dreams and light to your plans" 

brings me back to the breathe-taking sunrise we witnessed at Cameron. 

Sunrise is such amazing thing to me! It never fails to bring wonder in my tiny little bubble. I'm so glad to have Bird to appreciate these finer things in life and these elegance and sensuality that I'm feeling so much for.. making me feeling all womanly.. hehe :)

Love xoxoxo

Acceptance

The path to understanding the Tao is accepting yourself.

Heaven and Hell are not after life Heaven and Hell are within life. It’s in movement we create joy It’s in despair we cement walls. Step over limitation.       Openly reveal, peel apart & feel poetry       moving around every barrier              Overflowing to your own nature. Never regret action      as the past lies      in fleeting memories. To Live, eternally, now       within the way       of exploring possibility. The secret to life is…      Simply being true to yourself and smiling      Looking upon each day,            with the new wonder it deserves.  Got this from personaltao and it's a nice piece for me to remember not to be so harsh on myself and to let go, accept myself. Yes I'm true to myself. Yes I'm smiling.  Interestingly, the song titled "Intuition" from  Feist "The reminder" album just came on my playlist.

Voila

Breathe in deep..Taking the leap into the air with hands up in the sky..

I love this picture so much and best still...just as I was looking at this picture in thechangeblog

My dear lovely Bird whatapps this picture to me! voila!! How can I not be in love. I'm so appreciative of this connection:D 

 

Cutest x Sexy

Aww this brings me so much alive this morning:D

Yeah cutesy with sexy fashion! 

Perfect!

Gems in nature

Light, Life, Love

Wonderful world

Watched a show "Wonderful World".. I didn't know what it's about nor where did that show come from..it seems like the one show that's speaking to me.. Oh and this is the second time I played it. I probably only catch 5 mins of it when I watched it first. 

I love the show! Love the title "Wonderful world" I have always be in love with the word "wonderful"; it's such simple childlike word that resonates..

Fishes raining from the sky..Magic..love..appreciation and being in the moment..

"Magic is everywhere..Feelings are magic..What feelings can do to alot of person..it's like chemical reaction..we both love him...let the feelings talk" - a part from the show that makes me feel warm...and reflect on my beliefs and values..

Do I believe in magic..not really..Since a kid, I'm always skeptical about magic..instead of indulging in the world of magic..I plunge into a world of finding out what's the trick behind the magic. Sometimes I wonder how can a kid be so critical about the world and myself. 

From the day I was in school, I'm critical about how I perform academically.

Strangely, I didn't remember much from when I was 5 years old, but I remember how that feels to be jealous about not being the top of the class..and upset as being just forth.

I still remember how I hated dancing class because I just can't bent my leg high up enough like others did. I can't do somersault and I was ashamed of it. And I quit. Well..not exactly quit but my parents decide that my passion isn't really there and it's time to move on to start a "proper" studying life. 

Thinking forward now..I always feel this connection to dance. It's like maybe there is just this soul deep in me that can only be expressed through dance. Watching people dance touches me. I tried a few times to dance..in my room with curtains all drawn, door locked. It felt like I'm almost free, but I withdrew..because of the mind. "I didn't know how"....but nevertheless..I indulge myself in visualizing these whole steps and movements listening to rhythm in the music..each beat synchronizes each touch of the toes on the ground...or each rise of the hands in the air..with fingers caressing the air breathing through each molecules that embrace you. And it makes me feel so good and liberated. 

So do I believe in magic?

I guess as much as I would say no with my "logical" mind.. I can't deny that these feelings of molecules and amazing synchronization of rhythm and movements is magical.

Oh and I'm thankful that Bird found this show somehow or another. 

Loves

A random emotional post

It's supposed to be bedtime now but I'm feeling so intense listening to 90.5fm oldies love songs..they are just so beautiful..no matter whether the stories behind the songs are sad or happy stories... each of these songs brings memories..and emotions rising in me..and perhaps in some strange bizarre way..it makes me feel so connected and remember myself..my smile, my love, my pain all in one. 

I don't believe in forgetting..only perhaps forgiving. At this very moment, memories of all emotions rising up me..the love.. the desire...the wants..the needs, the insecurity...the joy, the excitement..the dream..the promise..the lost..the hope..Each and every part of me..my smile, my laughter, my tears, my fear.. my jealousy, my envy..my confidence..my aching heart, my joyous heart all come together in one.

Looking at photo of me jumping up in the air..drawing I did of me and bird standing on the surface of earth..and Birds I painted..I'm feeling so alive..and breathless..because I'm lost for words..to describe how I'm feeling right now. 

Trust and dignity, Promise and love, Stories and memories..random words come to my mind. 

I don't believe in promise and I make a pact with myself..promise are empty words when not honored. So no.. I'm not gonna give in to a word called "promise". It takes a great courage to give my all..to trust..to hope..I would say as much as I could I always do my best, give my all. 

But why is it so hard for some to give their all. I'm not a perfectionist. I'm an opportunist. In things that I love and feel so much for, I would never want to give up without exploring all ways to make it better..or make it work. I once did, and its silly because I succumb to fear and insecurity. I didn't regret. But it taught me a lesson, I should give trust, I should give my all. Because timing is everything. 

I don't know who am I saying this to.. "Don't give me up so easily" And if you don't plan to give me up so easily then cherish me like I won't live another day." 

I despise people who give up without even trying...or hard enough. I despise people who leave it to fate or destiny. Yea I agree..something are beyond our control...and yea maybe there is something call destiny. But is that all.. do we call our life a quit because there is something call destiny.

Guess I was dead many times..many times when my heart "stops", "pause" for a long moment where my soul is nowhere to find home. Those sinking feelings. Those darkness. Those edges that I have been to bring me to where I'm today. 

I deserve to be happy.

I deserve to be loved. 

I deserve to have destiny in my hands.

Yea this post may probably be the "darkest" post ever in this journal. But no it's not a sadist post. I'm called emotional. But emotions is what make me me. 

I have been struggling with work because emotions don't flow..or rather I didn't know where I should let emotion flows..I don't feel the love at work anymore. There is a hole, a black hole, a void. Something is just not the same anymore. And perhaps the me in it is not the same anymore too.

I used to love to organize things to make things better in the company, but now my heart is cold. 

The family that I have known..is no longer quite complete (not because of absence of black bear) but just maybe the transition, the profit driven approach has left me feeling disappointed and lost. 

Each time I see them filling in numbers, staring at the down slope...while they are probably desperately asking for an answer on why is the number going down, or how are we going to push up the figures..

I feel my heart ache, I feel my breathe stops, I feel that void so clearly, so sharply.

Because I would have asked "How are we going to love? Let's talk about love. Forget about the figures." But I have no right to speak so I keep quiet, so I keep quieter and quieter..

I told myself in times to come, they will see it..they will see what I'm dying to speak from the bottom of my heart. That I will have more patience..I will wait.. but that hole is getting bigger and bigger silently. 

In relationship with people, at times of insecurity, I withdraw from being emotional too.

There is only yes or no. Nothing in between. Love or not. Isn't it supposed to be that simple.

No one would know what you think if you don't say it out because no one could understand you thoroughly. some thing may means nothing to you, but alot to others. something may means everything to you but nothing to others.

I love you Bird. 

Happiness is in your hands.

Be the full of you.

This is a mindless post...very very random...and I'm getting really really tired.