Loro is name for the new cloth for my phone haha! Yes I'm naming! Simply because I'm happy n it has this parrot colors (Loro means parrot in Spanish) oh and that's Dolce, the real parrot my friend found in his lift and is happy keeping it now. Im looking forward to play with it on Sunday!
Bird says bee needs an adventure. I seriously feel so. Bee just need to play! Any moment bee is not hyper about something, it's feeling kind of under the weather. N my bubblebulb (my idea bulb which bird name is bubble bulb because I love bubbles) is getting smaller and smaller.
Listening to Moby's natural blues.. Been a while since I last listen to this.. Yea quite a long while but it suits my soul just well at the moment. Didn quite know why.. Maybe it simply flow with me like a swim. Just watch MIB.. It was meant to be more of a comedy.. But here it teaches me a lesson " every moment counts". Each moment is inter related to another and we are all in coexistence of one another no matter how much we may appeal to differ. Feel like being in a dance again. Read something today about not be the dancer but being the dance. Again my memory lost me. I didn remember where I read that part from but the statement resonates enough to stick with me after a day has gone by. Every moment we seen in others could be a reflection of ourselves. Can we be the dance and dance through it like water.
You know my trinny got the wild 'magination. He think they lookin'
when he walk on by. He think the world is one big big mirror, he get
upset and then he don't feel right.
And he walkin', stalkin', stalkin' down the side walk, sporting
cloths strutting stride by stride. I tell him trinny you are not what
you consider, I stop 'em dead when I look 'em in the eye.
I say, "Who ought to tell you not to sing your story? Who ought to tell that your singin' off key?
You are the dance, you are not the dancer, you are the song, not the one who sings."
Be-a-you-tiful song, songbird. Now Be-a-you-tiful song, songbird. Now Be-a-you-tiful song, songbird.
And you tell me true. Tell me true.
You get upset and then you don't feel, you don't feel right. You try
to fly up straight and you fly uptight. You try to talk about life,
like it's all an event... Life is the dancer, you are the dance.
So be-a-you-tiful song, songbird. Now Be-a-you-tiful song, songbird. Now Be-a-you-tiful song, songbird.
And you tell me true. Tell me true. Tell me true. Tell me true. Oh
you tell me true, oh a beautiful songbird, beautiful songbird.
There have been so much going on my mind and heart lately.. so much so that I have been not journaling much here. Well to avoid missing noting anything from my forgetfulness, I thought maybe I just note it down here first:
1. Happy Cake Day that sparks seems to spread to many around me (unexpectedly) haha and that have kind of sparks into a project with a dear friend doing a cute little logo for it. I'm excited to getting it live and up, sparking more people to enjoy!
2. Live Joy now - Bee and Gozi have found their lovely 3 words!
3. Realise Science centre is so near my home and that I could well jog to the Mcdonald which is a pretty nice place. The one and only Mcdonald where I still see big displays of toys!
4. Got a new iphone casing which yes! I'm naming it loro! hehe because it inspires me of parrot's colourful feathers (loro means parrot in spanish) I simply adore the happy tone of the word.
5. As I organises my portfolio, I realise if anyone were to ask me what's my style of design, I would probably say "Happy style" or "Life is colourful, live happy", or well "I design happiness (you want a share of it?) "
6. A dear hermie friend found a parrot in his lift and is keeping it! Aww I'm excited!
7. Went on cycling on weekend evening and it is first time cycling with Birdie.
Insights while cycling: Life is about looking forward, because sometimes looking too much into the past could trap us and make us fall. ( Because I was looking back while cycling and nearly flipped out of my bike haha)
Doing things effortlessly could well be the first step to success.
8. Had a coffee date with poo nurse, listening to her speaking of her patients and things going on makes me feel that every moment we are living is a gift, is a bonus. Maybe we should all try a different perspective of the word "Bonus". Bonus - lucky - Gift. (and not an entitlement of monetary values like how people have associated it to be)
Am feeling exhausted n headache. Pop to tablet to relax muscles in the hope of being able to relax. Something which I have problem doing. Sounds silly but yes I don't know how to relax most of the time. Well maybe my mind champ over The drowsiness supposed to come with the tablet. But my mind refuse to slow down.. It's still on the move though i cant really focus in much. Flip a page of my "savior" book n saw this page thought its so true n relevant becos indeed at that moment where the penny is up in the sky, we would naturally Realise which side of tr penny we r hoping for.
Everyone has a reason behind what they do. Or perhaps the statement should be phrased in such a way; " Everyone can creates a reason for something"
If everyone has his/her reason to do something and everyone has different reasons, what do we do?
It doesn't help with everyone talks about their own reason and expecting others to accept. Because like what is mentioned before, everyone can weave different stories as a reason.
When everyone expect each other to understand their reason, that's when those beautiful stories known as reasons has a change of name "unreasonable".
Men have their reasons. Women have their reasons. Bosses have their reasons, employees have their reasons. Friends have their reasons. Everyone says they have a reason for doing certain thing. Deep beneath the sheep coat engraved with the word "reason", is a simple fact that everyone is telling themselves a story and to make sure they are not in a state of self deception, they tell the stories to others in a different name known as facts. Everyone is trying to sell stories as the ultimate truth.
Do reasons exist? How important are reasons? Maybe perhaps what we need is empathy for others instead of reasons. If reasons are fictional and a matter of perspectives, can we now try to tell story from another person's point of view? Feel their story, hear their hearts and be for once, in the moment with another person rather than selling the thing call "reasons"
Let's cut away the reasons, let's hear people out. Let's share our empathy for each other and feel more joy rising from our hearts.
Yes! This post is dedicated to a bird that sparks my morning with his beautiful singing:) I was walking with weary heavy steps as I heard a beautiful rhythmic voice singing away, I followed the singing and found this bird. (I googled and not sure if it's a bay backed Shrike) I stood there for awhile, enchanted by his singing. Though probably it isn't me that he is trying to attract. Haha. It leap from branch to branch, singing proudly into the sky:) awww it makes me smile!
In fact, it seems I shared such affinity with birds today. This morning before I got out of bed, not sure it's a dream but I heard birds singing so beautifully n loud near me. It was a sparrow. Not because I recognize the singing but somehow something in the dream drawn me to realize that is a sparrow.
As i was reflecting about my encounters with birds..somehow this quote "his eyes is on the sparrow" appear in my mind. And somehow I am feeling yes perhaps god or the universe is watching over me.
And as I hop on a cab, the uncle told me I'm his best customer of the morning because my perfume smell so nice:) especially when he encounter several man passengers who seems to carry an odor. Haha so I'm delighted to refreshes his senses. And at the same time I'm feeling good that somehow says such nice words to me:) hee
And before I alighted, the uncle wish me goodness in whatever I do and a good day:) of course I wish him too:)
It's a small gesture, but I'm feeling alive and loved. How often do we receive such blessing from a strangers? How often do we give such blessing to strangers, passerby of our life, people who stroll pass us in our life movie?
Had a good mellow day with mum in the west..visited two new malls. Shopping, trying clothes..and found good buy for just $6!!! That's a great deal. It's not exactly about the money sometimes but the fact that most things are over priced (because we don't really need it anyway) so to found a great deal is an exciting thrill (at least for me). Oh and ironically (though much appreciated), I'm the one shopping most of the day and mum bought me a $22 blouse when I didn't really have a present for Mother's day. Well that's why I love my mum! Because beyond all her talking about money and comparing my salary to her friend's daughter, she is really not that a money person deep down. And I didn't like to get a present purposely for an occasion when I have no strong idea what to get. Mainly, she is contented just having me accompanying her during this day for mothers. I take this seriously:) Every year, since the day I realize the importance of kinship and that life is unpredictable and most importantly, that parents really love us unconditionally, I have made a point to accompany my mum especially during such occasion. It has nothing to do with the success of someone who founded and so many others who branded Mother's day. Personally, it's a day to remember love and loved ones. It's easy to neglect, oversees our loved ones when we are in our midst of making sense of life and making life meaningful. So days like these is a good reminder and opportunity to be with our loved ones.
I love how we took pictures of ourselves sitting in Franc Franc, eating frosty icecream and fries at Wendy's, trying clothes in one small fitting room, looking at durians, sharing fried kway teow and oyster omelet in hawker. Yap, it's simple pleasure of life being with my loved ones that brings me immense joy:) Will update with photos in next post.
I reached home with an intention to vacuum and mop the floor, but was too sleepy to do so. Keep telling myself to settle some writing and getting started on something. But just can't get my heart on it. So endup reading away, one after another and I found enjoyment in it:) ( Yap I'm someone who is learning how to enjoy, I found myself finding faults with myself at not doing something or well in that something more than I allow myself to just simply do nothing. Sadly sometimes even reading is considered as doing nothing to me. So each time I spend more time reading than doing, I felt bad) Yes, yes I'm such an uptight person who is too serious about doing things.
I was randomly reading blogs online and come across a post which I can relate so much which make me tear a bit, felt my heart sank a bit but also reaffirm some pending decision of mine to take a leap. So I continue to allow myself to simply just read on... below are some of the articles I been reading.
Just finished watching a show "Illusion", introduced by Bird. It's a very nice show, very meaningful. Get me thinking different phrases of my life and decisions I made, paths I took. If life is like a movie, how am I living it so far? How do I want to write my movie. If life is like show reels of movies, then does everything happen for a reason? Does having me watching this movie, writing this post part of the show reel as well? It's certainly a lot to think about, but also perhaps a lot to let go.
Love these pictures that bird send me this morning:) There is this quiet yet majestic power within Nature. The glow of the sun, the green of the tree, the texture of its bark. Listen to them.. Watch them... There perhaps hidden the magic that we human has been seeking. Perhaps it's all about harmony.
Saw these little sprouts growing, reaching for the sun this morning:) its amazing how with the right nourishment, it sprout out of its shell.. And leaves grow out of it.
Oh right... Bee is buzzing here and there and everywhere lately. Mainly, I'm buzzing through my way to understand what makes me happy and what energizes me and give me joy. I always thought I have a work that I'm happy with and that it doesn't feel like work. Maybe that is true for large first part of my journey in this work. But recently, it seems to be further and further away from what seems like a dream that I would fulfill with joy. It seems to be deviated from what I always thought it is. So honestly, I felt lost for the first time and maybe even a little depressed. I started asking myself questions. I realise I could do so much more and there are so much more things that could energize me beside work.
I watched talks, read books, did alittle gardening, getting high with my friend who says Popsicle reminds her of me, hug a dog, snapping photos. Well I'm happy while I'm doing all these. I'm someone who just have to pour my heart into something because that is pretty much me. My soul.
Hmm I have quite a number of stuffs to write about. But the one thing that triggers my mind now is an abandoned dog. I have never taken care of animals before. Well I have pet rabbits, tortoise before..but that were long before I can remember when I was just kiddo. Of course, even if I remember, pulling rabbits ears and spinning tortoise on its shell definitely doesn't make me sound like a good animal carer. In fact, I doubt my ability to take care of things, from plants to animals to people. I have a heart for them, but just didn't think I have hands for them. I find myself too forgetful, too rough to handle life.
Well I received a text from my cousin asking if I can keep an abandoned dog for a while. I got really excited about it, thinking how am I gonna ask my mum for permission to do so. Though I have qualms about how am I gonna take care of a dog. But the thought of the dog suddenly being abandoned out in the open with just a plate of water some people left for it, my heart kind of sank. I have seen how my friend took care of her beloved dog, Rei. She is really a fortunate girl to have my friend to take care and love. And I do understand how animals strike this connection with human. I was just hugging Rei yesterday. She is warm and the moment I press the door bell, she was right there in front of me. I was surprised at her speed since she can hardly walk with her crippled leg after an operation some time ago. I held her in my arms, walked around my friend's place. She is so warm. I must admit I find it hard to resist loving these little furry friends.
Anyway, I reached home, saw my dad and thought wow asking my dad may have better chance. But to my disappointment, his ans was a flat no and my mum was complaining how dogs can have furs around and how she dislike people who keep pet. Though of course, I think that is her ignorance at some point about pet from what she heard from people. Yes dogs to shed fur, make noise, poo.. But don't we human do all those as well. Well I got back into my room, my brother walked in and asked me my dad's response. I said no. My brother mentioned Shihtzu is known for its notorious barking and skin problem. My sister agreed. My brother left the room to shower, my sister continues her sleep. And I just sat there at my desk, tearing away not sure why. But tears just well up. I'm such a kiddo. Sometimes I do feel like I'm the youngest in the family. This reminds me of how I bought milk bottle and powder for a kitten I found at my neighbor's flower pot.
Well, wish all animals receive good care and love from their human friends.
And thanks to Bird for being a listening ear and offer that I could keep a dog in our home next time if I really really really want to. hehe well, I probably wouldn't specially buy a dog but knowing that I could keep animal and Bird being so understanding make me feel so loved!
I don't fancy the new blogger interface. It's draggy though it's supposed to be made simple and "designer". Anyway maybe I'm just feeling extra edgy at the moment. Well had a good day out with friends. It's alright. But just when the night falls and the thought of having to go back to work makes me feel really sick. Why do I feel that? What do I feel? Utter disappointment plus resentment = extreme unhappiness. Everyone need a pat on the shoulder. And when there is no pat on a shoulder for a prolonged period of time + more ridiculous demand = the feeling of lethargic. Because of my dad's retrenchment years back, I told myself I'm not going to work in a company for life. But recently, I found out I based my life on just a company. A company I trusted and loved for a good long seven years because of a direction and a belief I have in mind and lots of faith. But the faith seems to be burning out..as with the dispersion of direction and fading values I observed. and yes. as much as I hate to mention. I'm feeling depressed and desperately needed a clean break rather than climbing up walls pasting wall stickers to save 10% profit margin that disperse into unknown area, a bottomless pit. I'm an ambitious person who takes work as challenge and willing to work hard. Never mind the extra hours and sweat or tears too. I will bite my teeth to do something. I have a scar on my leg from hot glue gun while trying to squeeze myself into a window display with a unrealistic design. I beg and play silly with people just to achieve something with a real limited resources. I sweat like hell being summoned to organise merchandising during peak season just after I rush out photoshoot and catalog and promotional stuffs. I do last min shop drawing because a presentation is needed to save a space. But am I involved and asked for opinion in actual store design? Ans so far is no. never. I write brand story for presentation. But not given budget to really fulfilling what it takes to build the brand. I shared about giving as company value, but I see nothing about doing things for customers as human beings. This is why I needed a break. A company should know their why of doing things. I need a why too. All the above, I don't see a glimpse of why. My boss told me to think in his position. I did. I do all the time. He asked me what is the most important thing in the company. The answer he wanted is "to stay afloat". So I gave him that. I'm no hypocrite. But that's no point arguing or saying otherwise too. Staying afloat is important but rethinking the why and how to live up to it is critical especially at times of crisis. This would be what I love to answer him. Oh one more thing, all that I do, my boss told me is not my priority. All the liaising and coordinating of merchandising schedules, pasting of stickers, doing signage are not my priority. I agree. He just need me to support these things when necessary. Funnily, these things are always necessary so 90% of my time is on non priority list. If you have just one life to live, would you want to spend 90% of your time on non priority list? I wouldn't want to, but im exactly doing that now. Which is the reason of my unhappiness.
My priority list:
To learn more about business, to test on my acumen.
To earn more income so I don't have to compare prices of bread in supermarket, or so I can tell my mum to quit her job because I can give her allowance.
To prepare for wedding and future nest with Bird.
To set up my own business or at least living to my values.
To go Finland to witness aurora myself.
To be happy.
These are my priority. Can I ask my boss to put himself in my shoes now? haha
There is an old saying that "Bosses and employees' perspectives would never match." This is the new era with heighten consciousness and awareness. An era about design thinking and human development. An era where people seek to live with meaning and fulfillment. An era where tv advertisement becomes entertainment shows, promotion becomes cheap thrills for companies who think they are doing something to increase productivity and profit. Time always changes. What is the one thing that remains constant? The heart. From? Heart in us. When all fails, listen to the heart. Maybe bosses should listen to the hearts of human (customers, employees instead of reading the heartbeats of sales.) Why look at something that you an predict like the sales forecast when it is the heartbeats of people that fuel the actual business.
