Your work is not you

Croissant breakfast after going for a chiropratic session. Thought it be a pamper of myself from all the exhaustion I am feeling from work. But apparently, it doesn't have that "sparkling up" effect on me. Maybe because I was still busy calling people to settle printing issues and get things done. Something happens that makes me want to be freed to be tied to a fixed hours work even more. Discuss with my "office manager" on possibilities of pushing my working hours an hour back so that I could go for my chiropratic in morning so that I didn have to rush for the session after work. But it doesn't quite go through. And I endup have to transfer to another clinic near my workplace and head there after work, which isn't a bad idea, only thing is far from home if I'm going on Saturday. Well I don't know how it plays out. And recent saga of doing some outside projects makes you feel I wanted more time to be out on my own liaising with people printer to make things faster. In business, actions gotta happen fast but right now I'm feeling this laggard stage. These all get me thinking even more we are born to live not to work. But why such a large part of us, our lifestyle is determined by our work. We are being associated to our job title, our job duties, the company we are working in and etc. It is no wonder so many people lost themselves when they lose their jobs. But surely, job is not everything. It is just a part of us. Job can be addictive because is the easiest way to build and find our identity. Job is everything to me in the past. I love it. I love working, being doing something all the time. I'm not workaholic, but I love how I see I'm creating things all the time and getting things done. I'm sure this is familiar to many of us. Working is like a quick fix of establishing our identity. But recently as I approaching a different life stage and seeing more of myself (thanks to bird), I realise work is not everything and is probably not a good tool to use to search or establish an identity for ourselves in this world because work is dispensable, so does the identity we build around our work. Changes happen everyday, no job is guaranteed. Our job can be displaced so easily. Does that mean we are invisible beings without identity when the identity we build from our job is gone? Yes, I felt this way when certain roles I'm taking on seems to be vaguely displaced by another colleague. So it's exactly normal to feel this way. That's when I asked myself am I only worth the work I do? Of course not! No way am I going to think that way! Because that will mean I'm simply a machine operated by my company and my life is dependent on it. ( Thanks to my value of independency) I woke up and say no way am I going to be just a machine! It feels that way at times, but it doesn't have to be! I own my life and I shall determine my worth! So (with the help of bird), I begin my quest for finding out my own values! It's been an exciting journey, learning, growing and observing. I'm on a journey without perfect map but I do have a compass and that's my heart and soul.

Umbrella for good

It's a rainy Monday morning. The usual me would have dreaded the rainy weather on my way to work. But something quite different set out itself today. I find myself enjoying putting on layers of clothes as if its winter ( of course that's exaggerating) and cooling weather some how makes the air feels more refresh. And as I was waiting for the bus, I find myself enjoying the sight of different umbrella opening itself like a present as people getting off the bus. You know like those peek a boo game adults play with us when we were kiddo. The opening of closed umbrella n reveal the designs instantly reminds me of that peek a boo fun! I enjoyed it. Saw a mr happy collections umbrella with diff characters printed on it. By the way, its a guy holding on to that umbrella which is awesomely adorable! Umbrella has always been more of an practical essential instead of decor so when I choose an umbrella. As long as its plain and light, I'm good about it. But today as I took glimpse of people's umbrella. I have a different perspective. Maybe having a cute happy umbrella actually helps to uplift the mood of people, passerby on rainy days. ( as I wrote this in the bus, I saw a tigger Winnie the Pooh umbrella and a rainbow colour piece passed by.) this makes me feel like designing some happy umbrellas to cheer people up or to play with the "cats and dogs" in this rainy weather:)

Something about books

Just sat among heaps of books, taking a glimpse of each book. Big and small. Business books, spiritual well beings books, Creative books and not forgetting Winnie the pooh. I am not as book fan as Bird, but I love books, words, language of expressions and the smell of books, oh and I love papers! The yellowish brown pages where words are inked, the "freckles" on old books, the accidental dog eared pages, the hard cover, the soft cover, the attractive covers that speaks to you like love at first sight, the magic of fonts on the cover that seems to whisper so quietly the story beneath. E copies of books are readily available, but there is something simply incomparable to hard copies of books with ink and paper. Each book has a character of its own, waiting to be explored, discovered and fall in love. If dog is man's best friend, book is man's soul mate. 

As I'm writing this post, I'm looking at my surrounding of books;
1. Damn good advice (for people with talent) by Adman, George Lois
2. What's your life's work? by Bill Jenson
3. Be tha mircale by Regina Brett
4. Self healing with Reiki by Penelope Quest
5. 100 dollar startup by Chris Guillebeau
6. Cash in a flash by Mark Victor Hansen & Robert G. Allen
7. The many adventures of Winnie the Pooh
8. The Tao of Warren Buffett by Mary Buffett & David Clark
9. Heart, Smarts, Guts and Luck
10. Life's little Detour by Regina Brett

It's good to have a balanced diet of books, meaning a mix of different genre of books will be good for over all well being of us. Just like a balanced diet :)

Books have been a life saver in various aspect of my life and I can say that it marks a pivotal moment in my life journey at different stages. Osho is a turning point, Alchemist resonates with the explorer in me, Little Prince is a reminder of little things in life, Anna and mister god is the child in me, Starbucks pour your heart into it fuels my love of business and passion in doing good, 100 dollar startup is insights and energy booster of possibilities, oh and not forgetting Tuesday with Morrie, a guidance to life and love. What books have accompany you and being an angel all these while?

Appreciating our living space, our home

Went for x ray today and walk along the quieter side of orchard road. Spotted a tiny lizard seemingly trying hard to find a good position to get a good weekend tan with its head sheltered by the leaf. And beautiful white flowers along the way. Whether its man planted or natural growth, being a city with limited land, this little effort in acknowledging the beauty I nature and bringing it in our urban landscape is a significant and commendable greatness. Maybe patriotism is simple the ability to appreciate the little beauty around us. I have been told that the sky in Australia is beautifully blue. At the back of my mind is Singapore does have beautiful blue sky too. Of course no places can be totally the same but recognizing beauty and goodness of the place we live in definitely open up a wider grander perspective to life as a whole.

When the best optimum performance is not result based

I have been trying to wake up early and leave home for work earlier so I could possibly be early. The key is I was trying to break any habit that may be bad. Not for company but for myself. But today leaving at around the same time I arrived at the usual place I change a bus later than the timing u aimed for to catch a bus so I could be early. I got almost frustrated an disappointed with myself just because I couldn't catch the bus which I intended to. I rushed on without getting breakfast. I knocked onto some people who I still think could practice a little consideration for peak hour rush by keeping to one side of the escalator. And as I reached the bus stop with no bus in sight, I started to hear the voice of resentments for myself on a simple thing "what's difference between today's walking speed and previously. Did I walk slower? I should have be more of my timing when I walk" On and on, I hear theses voices till I suddenly realise jeez why am I beating myself up over not able to catch the bus when I have been late for almost the longest time. So I let myself take a back step an instead of focusing when is the next bus coming, I look at the person inside me and here're some lessons I learnt:

1. Whatever that has been causing me distress comes from within, the standards and rules I set for myself. Because I don't care if I'm late since I stayed later during knock off hours. I don't care about whether my boss is happy about it. So why I care this time round, because perhaps out of some habits, I quickly set standards subconsciously when I made my mind to break the habit of being late. While it is good to be aware of habits and make changes, one even more important thing that I have to know is I need to be kinder to myself even though there is a standard to meet. My belief that standards r here to meet if not it loses its purpose is probably not frame in the best perspective. Standards are here to be met but the purpose is whatever objective, vision that benefits. It's not about meeting that standards. It's not about the numbers, in this case, it's not about catching the 8.25am bus. It's about making changes and breaking habits.

2. Appreciate and congrats ourselves for making any baby steps progress will bring us much closer to the intended objective instead of questioning myself for not having optimum performance.

3. The best performance is not results based but how well we could dance through any situation with agility physically, emotionally, spiritually. The best performance leaves room for audience to not just applaud but also learn something or reflect on their own stories and gain insights through the dance.

Familiarity doesn't equate to most effective, or guaranteed results.

Learn a lesson today while trying to find a way to get to lunch with Bird's family. After Chiro at a mall, I got out of the mall with two choices; a. to walk a pretty good long way (probably 15mins walk thanks to all the rerouting due to the constructions) to the train station. or b. walk towards left to bus stop, hop on a bus, get to a next train station, or change a different bus to town area. Looking at both ways, I couldnt see train station nor bus stop. I decided to take option b, head towards nearest bus stop. Reason? Simple! Because I don't like to take u turn, and I prefer forward moving, then going back wards. So I rather be a station nearer to why I intend to go, than to be one station further. Anyway, as I arrived at the bus stop, I realise the bus I had in mind doesnt stop at next train station. Ooops! Immediately, I found next bus on the list (Bus 105) which I'm familiar with the number, see that it passes few train station so my mind set into an auto mapping gps mode, mapping which is the best route to take as I was waiting dutifully for the bus. And suddenly another bus passes by the bus stop slowly (bus 502) It's an express bus! And suddenly like a light bulb being switched on, I turned around at the direction board at bus stop. Jeez! 502 is an express bus that go straight to where I'm supposed to have lunch! I don't have to switch buses, or trains! Voila! I felt a sudden surge of stupidity!!!! Why didn't check the route of this bus in the first place?! I could have boarded the bus! I was almost getting harsh on my negligence. However, an insight struck me! I ask myself again, why didn't I check the timing of this bus in the first moment I look at the board. Answer? Simple! Because it is not a bus I'm familiar with. It's not in my mind! I realize how often we are almost always following the "natural" path, the familiar! My mind was busy mapping for alternative routes to get to the restaurant when there is a simple clean clear route waiting for me just right there! 

Lessons: 

1. This reminded me of the 3 feet from Gold concept! Sometimes, we get too caught up with the one way we know and we totally forgotten about other possibilities and objective. Imagine if the guy who tried to mine gold, were to dig it from the other side. Voila! Of course, I didn't find gold today, neither did I finish any napoleon hill's book yet. But the lesson I learn is that doing something familiar may be good. But it may not be the best way! Maybe the best way lies just a few feet from you. (In my case, the best way was indeed right there on the board few inches from me!) 
2. Sometimes, as we work hard, we have to continuously ask ourselves, is this the best way? Familiarity doesn't equate to most effective, or guaranteed results. Let us ask ourselves, what have we been doing the same way all the time? Is there any possibility we could do it other wise to reach a better result. 
3. If you see some possibilities, would you be ready to give it a try?! Do you have that gut!? 
4. Personally, I also realise perhaps it will be good to always prime our minds to look for better ways (not that current way is not good enough, but priming our minds to look for better ways indirectly have already formed a chain of energy that could possibly lead you to the "new and more efficient way") so that we will be more ready to accept it when that "way" reveal itself. Because I could have saw that bus passes by slowly and didn't turn my head around to check the route and continue waiting for the other bus (where I have to switch buses or train to get to my destinations) Imagine this. How would my scenarios be? But because I was trying to look for a better way so I won't be late for lunch! 

Instead of saying I'm nowhere, say I'm half way there to my goal

I'm supposed to do some work but well I can't focus and so decided to just do a recount of what I been through:

1. Finally went for first Chiropractic consultation after years of being told to do so by brother bear. It's expensive! Seriously if I charge a t shirt design for $300, it wouldn't even cover my consultation cost! haha Need to not work smart, but earn smart!! Anyway, guess this is the first time I'm allowing myself to spend $$ on my personal well being. The fact that I didn't go for chiro is mainly because with a standard amount of saving and no sudden out pour of $$ from the sky, to be able to afford for what my family needs is much more of a priority. But recently guess my body is seeking for my attention in various outlets! First, I had outbreak of rashes (which is still going on). Doc name it eczema. Well whatever it is, I believe in Bird not being too caught up with terms Doc used. And I spent almost $200 in total or more on trying to get rid of rashes and recover to before. Rashes are still popping out here and there. Follows by my neck seems to have no strength to support my heavy head and feels sharp pain when I try to turn too much. 3 weeks! not much of recovery! And follows by my wisdom tooth outbreak on the right! Jeez, can I deny the fact that my body is really longing for my attention and trying to tell me something.

2. Started reading about Reiki from a book Bird got for me! Again, Bird is my owl angel! haha bringing me "soul foodie" to buzzy bee who seems breaking apart physically. It makes me want to paint what I visualise. Self healing is the word. At 30, I'm beginning to see that achievements and growth is not just material results but most importantly well being and the ability to take care of my own well being, emotionally, physically, spiritually because in fact is the only thing we have power to influence.

3. Had a breakdown of emotions last night, didn't quite know why. I'm glad I have Bird to share my thoughts with and how I'm trying to understand what is that one thing I have to let go. I'm thankful that Bird instead of blaming me being unreasonable and emotional (which most of people does), he told me I made progress! YES! PROGRESS! my magic word! haha progress in that I didn't start blaming myself for getting emotional and recognise my effort in trying to reframe my mind. I am probably didn't fully know how to do it yet, but I'm to figure out. Because I'm sick of being in this downward spiral so suddenly out of no where and feeling lost and helpless. I didn't see it that I progress. I almost question myself why am I behaving this way again. But instead I took a practical approach of asking how do I live better?

4. Have an insight, instead of viewing myself at a lost junction, not knowing where to head to, I could see that this is not the end! This is the beginning of a new journey that calls upon a more powerful mindset, skills. 20's is about experiencing things, growing, learning. When I didn't see growth or major progress now doesn't mean I'm not progressing. It could simply means! I have done good, learn well in my 20's. Now it's time to rock n roll! Enjoy what my skills and knowledge have brought me. Recognize the achievements, tell myself I have reach the destination of my career. Now it's time to get on and surf the wave alittle. Be flexible. Be kind to myself. Trust that I'm already on the way I'm supposed to be on. Instead of saying I'm nowhere, say I'm half way there to my goal! wow! it feels great to say this thing out isn't it!

An Angel

I met an angel today. Beautiful, charming, smart, brilliant with sparkles in the eyes. Yet behind these, as she spoke, I sense a a deep anguish in her voice, sadness behind those sparkles in the eye and a deep sense of longing to re live her life, to have a chance to re choose her path. She is an angel who remind me to always choose who I am.

Books hand picked by birdie

Bird is feeding bee with knowledge and fun exploring through books. This is just a slice of the books I have over a weekends! Haha if books were like cookies and I could chom chom chom them up. Actually I love books! As much as I love cookies! Butter cookies. You know how butter cookies during cold night makes you smile. Well I assume you know. Because I sure do. Good books are like cookies during cold days too. It keeps u warm and zest you up with excitement and energy. So much to explore! Best of all, in each book I see myself.. And how I would love to be or do. Bird really knows me well! So much to learn!