Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Blue blue bee o_o

Bee is feeling so blue today and past few days and maybe weeks..
pondering for a reason..
1. Work and life have always been as one..and now that it feels more n more apart. I feel a piece of me missing somehow. 
2. Saw a classmate posted a Xmas tree she decorated for her home. It kind of makes me so jealous (I know jealous is a bad word but still im being honest with my feelings)..
I know exactly how to fix a Christmas tree. Can do it within 15 minutes I guess. But I have never really get to feel the real joy of setting up a Christmas tree at home.
3. Feeling on a cross road. 
4. Dislike leaving things unexplained or unsorted out but yet there are things that concern other humans, you just can't get it sorted out on your own. 
5. Bee needs challenges and the sense of belonging. 
6. I still don't think there is anything wrong with how I reacted to things. It's only normal for a person to explode if for the past 9 months ... all I did was to follow instruction, convinced or not..trying my very best to support, only to feel left out and then to be thought as not interested is ridiculous. 
7. Have been so unproductive. Productivity is not measured by how much things I do.. but how much things I enjoy doing. 
8. I didn't sleep well for WEEKS! So much as that I didn't enjoy sleep as well.
9. I need something to look forward to.. short and long term.
10. Need to feel in sync with my values and purpose




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