I actually had a brilliant morning! A fulfilling one! Here's what I have done so far:
7:30 Woke up naturally. Stretching. Breathing, feeling alive watching my hands in the morning light. (No sun though. A cooling morning.)
7:45 Do my "squats" and "semi push ups" (Well I'm still working on doing a full one. One step at a time."
8:05 Sit on my rainbow "meditation cushion" and peep at the clock to see how long I could sit still. (Target 30 mins). Closed my eyes, crossed legs position, looking at the back/ inner darkness of my eye lids (well this is what is commonly told during those brief meditation workshops), "watch/ feel" my breathing through my nostrils (not quite successfully, because half the time, I'm trying to locate my breathes and in turn I get kinda out of breathe), watch the thoughts pass (well, there sure are so many thoughts (like a traffic jam during peak hour, didn't pass that smoothly. But well first timer. At least I remember that it's ok to have a little noise here and there. Good thing! I managed to stay pretty still and sit pretty straight while not intensifying my body. There are birds chirping, construction going on, buses moving, curtain flapping in the wind. Fan moving.....) Not exactly a meditation, but it's a first step and I decided to give credit for that. Oh I realise, for goodness sake, I am such a person who put in effort for almost everything I do, even breathing or relaxing. The thing is relaxing and effort doesn't seems to be that good friends of one another.
8:30 Voila! I managed to open my eyes and there it is the clock strike 8:30! 25mins of sitting on my magic rainbow cushion. Washed up and head down to park behind my house.
8:40 Slow jog in the park. Good breeze. I do love this park more because it seems less people walking around. (Remembering what I read about posture of jogging, fingers gently touches palm, breathing 4 times in n exhale 4 times out (according to AR), chin not jutting out (I realise this is a very good point, I seems to be able to breathe more while remembering to keep my vision ahead but not jutting out my chin for breathe), knees bent a little but not too much, lower legs not stretched out too much. Well I didn't manage to jog complete round the park, but for someone who a week ago was catching breathe walking that park, today's seems like an accomplishment.
9:00 Head home (which is just climbing a flight of stairs up. I feel damn good that I climbed those few steps without the usual heavy panting) Saw a resident cat sitting, snoozing on the bonnet of a car, parked beside the void deck. Didn't have any phone camera with me.
9:05 Took sips of water slowly and regulate my breathe. Sit beside my dad, have a little chat about daily affairs (news on new policies and price hike of public transport, his knees hurting), soothe his knees by touching them slowly and telling him he got smooth skin. Little touch and conversation but means a great lot to me.
9:30 Shower time!
9:45 Bring out laundry for some sunshine or breeze
10:00 Sitting at my desk (I do look forward to a new right height desk and chair when we moved into our new nest because current desk height and chair is not really conducive for working.)
10:20 Done with posting this here. Time for breakfast!
*Note: a little reminder for myself and anyone else... we all know health and our body is the most important thing, physiology is at the base of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs (one of my favourite idealogy) yet all these while, I was trying to scale that pyramid and get to the peak of it (which is self actualization) without accepting or acknowledging that I didn't get the foundation strong enough. Knowledge is one thing. Our daily action is what matters. Sometimes things happen for a reason. A week ago, I fainted in the train, yea dropped blank on the floor, perhaps without a minute of consciousness, my body went numb. Breathing hard. There is a sudden fear of what if this is it. The peak of self actualization not only seems furthest, it seems the least important at those moments. All I wanted was to feel my body again, to be able to move my every body parts at my will. (This is really such an amazing gift that most of us seems to neglect most.) Laying on the hospital bed, watching how water/ glucose was connecting to my veins and flowing into my blood. This is another "revelation"; whatever food or drink we took goes into our blood and tells a story and quality of our life. This is such a simple knowledge. I'm sure we all know. Clearly, knowing is not enough. I always believe in setting goal, grand mission of our life because it determines the standard of our living. But what is more important is not standard of living, it is the quality of living. Standard of living could mean getting certain amount of monetary values, the pride of being accomplished, the ability to give and create. Quality of living is a whole new dimension; it is how well you breathe, how we are working with our body as one literally, what we feed our body, our blood (that's our life line), how clear is our mind, how agile is our body. Our each pulse is a gift and we are given the responsibility and the chance to take good care of it. (I never feel so strongly about this or perhaps I am not even aware of these little skipping of my heartbeats till the moment I was laying on that bed, tied down with wire and drips, while all I could do is watching my heart beats on the little monitor beside the bed.) To live is not to set goal. To live is simply to breathe.
I'm thankful for life. I'm loving it. Every seconds of it.
Time for breakfast!
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