The art of asking "What if"

Rainy Sunday. Picked up a book before I left house. A book is more than just contents, it is a companion, someone to listen to, share thoughts with. With pages into the book, a number of "what if" questions pop up in my mind:
What if...
- I could do whatever I love, express whoever I was and make a living.
- I could be an artist, designer and business woman, all in one.
- my best asset is my eccentricity..( something that keep me entertained and kind of proud of)
- eccentricity is exactly what people crave, desire for.
- giving and the love of taking time to understand and identify the inner desire of someone to prepare or match gift with the little details of a flower or a ribbon is what really fulfilling.
- there are many wild beings awaiting for someone to unleash them with colors and unpretentious rawness
- just follow my heart naturally bungs the sustainability and money
- I could explore the world as I look for resources for my art and selling them
- I only have a day more... I would do all of the above in one day.

One thing at a time

"One thing at a time" - is the mantra that slips quietly to me today as I get caught in wanting to do several things at a time. So one thing at a time it is...

Travel

So yeah back from the family trip.. Still haven't sync out some of the photos..
I got a little edgy since I'm back.. Maybe the weather, maybe I just long for some time away from commitment for family. Or maybe its simply after being giving, I need some time to give myself a little piece of peace. Or maybe its my mum telling me of what other people says about their trip in Taiwan n get my mum in a comparison mode. That definitely doesn't make me feel good. I enjoy watching them playing and enjoying. I want to leave it as that. I want to reminisce moments in the mountains n the ocean of clouds high above ground. Because frankly I didn have enough time to really being in that moments. Every moment I was worrying about my mum not being taken care of or feel left out. So now I'm back.. I wanted to feel more n retrace back all those moments, those scenery. My dad was saying when's the next trip.. Lets go Korea.. All because his friends say is nice. Well secretly.. I want to go somewhere less touristy. I wanted a trip for myself. Sweden, Finland, Iceland, Holland, Alaska, Turkey.... Well I love traveling. I'm still amazed with how I could wake up at 530am every morning without alarm during my one week trip. Why couldn't I do it here? What's the magic? Maybe because there is a sense of adventure, a sense of wonder.. A sense of emptiness. Why are we only entitled to 21 days of leave each year at work when there is so much time to explore possibilities outside. In the name of productivity, human just make the world smaller and limiting ourselves from an abundance of possibilities.

Traveling makes us remember what family is all about. Watching out for each other and being together.

Traveling opens up possibilities and perhaps open us up to a different level of awareness.

Into the Wild

Good wild morning! Well many thoughts have come and pass, sometimes in between reading a good book, sometimes in between my "ecstasy" over a cup of caffeine and of course, there are other times when I simply just prefer to feel the moment then to focus my head down on my device typing away. I have been having this "wild" word hovering above within me lately. I listen to Wild horses by Natasha Bedingfield yesterday and today somehow I get hook on Soundtracks of the movie "Into the Wild", a movie which I watched from rented DVD years ago. A movie that evoke questions in me and set some part of me longing to be with the wilderness. I don't call myself exactly adventurous person, but I love to be in awe of so much wonders in the wild. CURIOUS is perhaps a better word to describe me.

For those who haven't watch this movie, it's worth watching. Listening to the soundtrack now makes me want to watch the movie again over a cup of hot coffee. What is one thing you long to do but haven't get to it?

There are many on my list and the list seems constantly growing itself. But guess I shall keep it simple.

Here's a two:
1. Find my mission and do something that I could look forward waking up to and with a smile or even laughters on my face every moment, feeling my heart in tune to my body and soul.
2. Travelling to Finland.

Of course there are two things which I'm happy I'm finally getting to it:
1. Bring my parents for a holiday. Looking forward.
2. Getting next stage of life with Mr Owl:)

random musing

Everyone has a voice.
To transform, we need to cast away the past. Look no more but forward into the future.
Experience speaks louder than words.
Be true and speak only the truth from your heart. No illusions, no motives.
What have we been repeatedly doing and fail. It's time to not redo, but kick star.

Something that get the bee not too happy. Or simply uninspired. Giving is not an act. Giving has no objective. Giving has only open heart. Giving is a gift. Giving is a genuine connection. Giving is not about helping. Giving is about understanding. What understanding have you given today?

Fiction

Just finished reading a chapter of a friend's newly baked story. Yes! A fiction of course! It's amazing feeling reading it, immerse in another world of possibilities. I'm not a fiction person or perhaps I think of myself that way because there are so much to read as learn and do. I tend to choose business or spiritual book over a fictional story. I love watching fantasy, cartoons though. This moment I realise there is something about fiction that I could use too. It expands our imagination and filled it with endless possibilities. A great rejuvenation to the mind and perhaps the soul too. Seriously, I can't wait to read another chapter. Oh and knowing that this is a chapter born out of so many unborn chapters got me really excited! I hve visuals full my mind as I read the story. The yellow jelly thing around Anna and the machine. I can literally hear myself telling the story to children now with all the woo and ahh and acting the multiple roles. Amazing feeling.

An unexpected smile

Have you seen how people try to dodge eyes contact from each other while they are having conversation?

Have you met someone who seems to be always full of gloom and find it hard to smile?

Have you hear how people say its time to grow up, stop being a vagabond and get serious about life?

Have you met anyone who seems to be always unhappy about someone, some incidents?

I was standing in the train when this little girl in the arms of the mum, look up at me, looking straight into my eyes. Her eyes were black n sparkle with a world seemingly alienated from we "adults". I look straight at her into her eyes. She smile. I wasn't smiling. But her smile makes me hard not to smile back. So I exercise my face muscles abit and kind of squeeze a little grin at her. (I wasn't in a smiley mood at the moment) She smile more.

And she look away n suddenly let out a laugh and a shriek. Want to be happy? Observe how a kid live and express themselves.

A bag

Bag: a suitcase or other portable container for carrying articles, as in traveling.

I'm proud of my new red stripe tote bag.. First; it's only $2!! Second; its light and serves its above mentioned function. Third: it feels so cozy hugging it, holding it in the palm.

This gets me thinking how is the level of satisfaction different from when someone spent on a $2000 bag. Personally I receive a great sense of enjoying my little great find:)

Goodnight

I seldom open the side window that is beside my bed. But tonight the wind is strong. I had a nice day feeling really loved n loving. More on that some other time. I'm simply thankful. Open my window laying on bed, looking into the night sky. It's pretty charming.
Oh and I realise soulbirds ( this platform here where we share our thoughts) is two years and a tiny half month old. It's sweet!

Mama mi ya!

Yes! I had a very fulfilling Sunday! First, my mama delighted me with these little red birthday eggs with birthday wishes written on it with a marker! And I love the smiling face most! That is the best gift from mama! Seriously! She has been asking me what I want for my birthday. I told her no need. But those eggs mean so much! Her handwriting with misspelled word and quirky smiling face! That's so mama! And that's all I need from her! Being my mama! Being that sometimes naggy, sometimes silly, and most of the time cute mama! She is someone who will dress up my plush bear, someone who shake her butt when she hear Macarena, someone who hugged me and (grin like as i present to her a huge diamond) when I agree to go sentosa aquarium, someone who would though not highly educated but have a smart way of counting (she called it ba ka Li Shen (hokkien) meaning "Indian calculation), someone who cried when we got her a bonia bag (yes! Believe it or not, some may think its just a bonia and not a LV, but here she is utterly touched and contented with a bonia), someone who shows her tiny jealousy when we brought papa out for birthday dinner (she is just so "nothing to hide" kind of personality), someone who would ask us for money (but mainly because she want to help us save), someone who feel grateful and thankful simply with her children holding her hands or simply buy her an apple pie, someone who would so excitedly buy 4D (but got the number upside down), someone who would patch up our tiny holes in clothes and make it look brand new, someone who expresses her insecurity and fear of being alone after her children are married... I could go on and on.. Recounting and reminiscing moments with her.. She is just a simple woman who still have that kid in her, all authentic and contended. Her children and family is her everything. Any diamond or bonia or if there is a LV will simply be a "bonus". Her commitment and dedication to her family is more than 100% (something I wouldn't dare to say I could live up to but I must say I look up to). How could anyone not love this woman? I love this woman more than words can express and I'm proud that I'm an extension of her. Oh did I mention; she is the best cook ever. No five star restaurant can compares to that mama flavor:) (which get me to see I could learn more on cooking and not just about management or consulting)

She brought me to get my birthday cake. Something that have not happen for a long while because I always thought I didn't want to create a hoo haa about my birthday. But somehow this time, I realise that bringing daughter to choose a birthday cake experience could well be an experience she long for ever since we all "grew up". Her children's birthday marks an important day for her; its a day after months of carrying us and risking health and sacrificing much part of her self to finally meet us, raise us, watch us grow and gain independence and finally hoping we will always love and remember her unconditionally. Happy Birth-Day to my mama!

Rhythm of the rain

It's a rainy night.. Laying in bed cuddle under my blanket but somehow the weather is too beautiful to sleep in. Listening to the droplets of rain touching earth. Looking at little sparkling droplets hanging on the wall outside my window. This scene reminds me of Christmas eve with bird at Vivo a year plus ago:) lovely

One day

Happy Valentines day! Happy love day! It's 14.02! A date I put on poster and urge people to buy gift for their loved ones. That's my job. Ironically, I didn't really specially buy gift for bird for this day. Guess I prefer a no stress way of gift buying. Hehe I have given bird a few gifts of laughters this past few days out of my clumsy acts. Seriously I don't mind wrapping a ribbon over myself n say there you are; your gift! Haha this is the sort of silly random things that bee would love to do on bee style. Haha it's gonna be our bird days literally for the soulbirds hehe I'm looking forward because its such an unique feeling to know ur best friend is your hubby to be and both share the same date. I do somehow feel that this is guided. I won't forget how I can't stand bird when I first know him and my little astonishment to know that he share the same birthdate as me! I almost flip off my chair n quickly go Facebook to hide my birthday since I don't want to let bird know. It was hilarious! I even go to my boss n ask did he purposely find someone who shared the same birthday to curb my nonsense hahaha of course my boss have no idea about it! He just gave me a smirk on his face. To think of it now, I was such a kid. I'm still a kid. Just a little more sensitive n sensible I guess.

It's raining heavily. I'm hiding in McDonald, sipping hot tea alone. An aloneness I appreciate. Looking at teenagers passing by carrying rose reminds me of my teenage days. How girls would gift each other little sweet heart shaped cards with sweet "best friends" messages. And how the school seems to be so full of love with people running sneaking around to pass secret letter or flowers. How everyone seems to be excited about being admired or admiring someone. If I didnt remember wrongly, I received a super large card and a teddy bear from one of the scouts. I was stunned and excited and all those mixed feelings. Most of all, being a little weirdo me.. I was thinking oh no why a teddy bear! I'm not your typical Girly girl! Haha I might have asked the person, why me? Hahaha I don't remember if I get an answer. After which, I do remember there always is those teasing and awkwardness when we were at our girl guide n scout event. Oh by the way! I suddenly remember! That guy prob had the same name as me! My mandarin name pronunciation! Of course, for probably just a brief one moment, we held hands. It feels awkward! It wasn't love of course. Probably not even infatuation. He was a nice hearted person. It's simply something teenagers do. Haha a side story.. In the end I chose someone who sneak an anonymous drawing under my school desk! Someone who make me draws out my gut to confront if that's his drawing. And guess what he said no! Haha imagine my embarrassment! But as always, I walked away like nothing though I really want to bury my head. It's funny! I did confront the right person, the person who drew me the picture which I don't remember what it is now. So guess after all, I'm more interested in drawings than teddy bear. Some call this puppy love. I thought it sounded real silly. At that point of time, No one thinks about living together forever or any future. But yet it was after all a first exploration, adventure into the world of "emotions and perhaps love" It was nice, sweet, memorable, painful and a lesson. It's all a part of living life.

As years passed, valentine days is more of a a day to remember love, celebrate love with your loved ones; your partner, friends, family:)

Its not about the gift nor the flower. It's about remembering and appreciation of one another:)

Win win

Guess this is the fun project that has been sparkling the energy from the bee. Yeah! It's always nice to see people making dream come true and even nicer to see a group of people gather together to play, help and contribute each other's strength. One bake cookies, the other help knead, take photo, carry the things, give suggestions, do poster.. And in the end the best result is the fun experience we have together:) If you were to ask me what's my dream job.. Well this is it. Kick start dreams.. Get it real..ship it! Share nice things and dreams. And most of all have fun while playing working with a bunch of nice nice people! I have been taught business is business, money making is most important. I agree! Can't agree more. But if we are spending so much time in this "money project"called work or career, then isn't it time to make money while having fun!? I'm taught once again to be realistic on this topic. That money making comes first and fun don't necessary come hand in hand with money. Is that really true? True true? Haha it is true only if we believe in it I guess. In this matter, I don't think this is an efficient belief.. So no I'm not buying it. Can we create our own "money making" project, our own work scope? Why not? It takes effort, patience, time.. And some hard crack nut kind of head perhaps. But don't all work requires those? Simple facts about making a deal; a business. It gotta be Win-win! Win win to your biz partners, win win to yourself; body and soul too. My way? well..no flattery, no fanciful words or methodology. It's simply just strike it! Do it! Do and you will know. Analysis is essential but overdose of it will not bring you anywhere. Get to it and you will see the story. So cheers!! I'm high on caffeine! Oh oh and one more thing of biz "Tao"; Love!!! Love more, give more! You will be happier in the money making "project"!

It's not about the flower, it's love

I always thought giving artificial flower is insincere and cannot understand why my mum always say she prefer artificial flowers because they can last. I always brushed it off, thinking that she is probably being thrifty and want to recycle the flowers. That day at ikea, saw her so thrilled over those artificial flowers which are beautiful to me, but has always been seen as props in my perspectives. She was looking at them, adoring and she told me something that suddenly open up a different view to me. She said she wish her children could buy her a stalk of artificial flower each year.. So she can accumulate flowers in her life time. Somehow that statement shows more than her liking of flowers. It's her longing of love from us.. And I have this realization about giving; its not what we think its worth to give, it's how the receiver value n want to be given. So yes! I bought the flowers another day when I was at ikea again and this time round I was happy giving the artificial flower. It's no longer about the flower. It's purely the significance of love between me and mama. I wrapped it up with a ribbon and she was surprised and of course happy! She arranged the flowers in a vase and showing off to me. I smile. She told me she was looking at the flowers till she fall asleep and she carry the vase in and out of a cabinet haha. That's just so my mama!

Faith -> Trust -> Knowing

True believers are those who believe with their, eyes, mind and heart wide open, allowing their faith to mature into trust and blossom as an inner knowing that is unshakable but not necessarily unquestionable. This inner knowing is one that is both inclusive and subjective.

A Simple & Powerful Way to Dissolving Problems

Most, if not all our problems dissolve when we stop participating in them.

In what ways might you be a part of the problems you are presently experiencing?

In what ways could you grow apart from your problems by being present to what is real and eternal?

One

Have you had the strange sense of happiness lingering somewhere in you and yet you are speechless about it? This is how I am feeling now. A strange sense of happiness with a bubbling over flowing desire to move forward, to be me. To introduce me to the world. To be the wild child and loving it. There is this sense of rising energy that follows the sharp commitment I made. Each smile is different. Each moment is filled with clarity. There is no doubt. There is no thought on how anyone would think. It is no longer valid. The validity has expired. The drama has ended. I'm seeing and living in my own vision and the vision of universe. I shall be guided. I'm on my journey home to my soul, the core, the oneness. From the moment I encountered and touched by the falcon experience, yes I do believe there is something bigger than me. No I still don't believe in the theory, stories of after life that were typically told and preached. I believe life exists in oneness with the universe. I believe in being. Here, I release me to the universe, to being.

Flourish from Life's Challenges and Adversities!

"No experience is ever a waste. No event is ever accidental. Life proves to be an endlessly supportive and enlightening phenomenon. It doesn't always feel like that, particularly when things get weird, stressful, lonely, or painful. Yet it is precisely in the midst of these challenges that the universe offers its most remarkable and precious upgrades. Fundamental realizations are often gift-wrapped in crisis. If we can fully grasp their meaning, we need not suffer their drama again." ~ Neil Kramer in The Unfoldment

Ready is a state of mind

Yes it's time. No, I'm not going allow anyone to judge whether I'm ready for something or not. No one is not ready for things. Because there is nothing you can be hundred and one percent ready to do. Anything can happen. Readiness is a state of mind. Readiness is a how deep a breathe you take. Readiness is an illusion. Readiness limits your vision and potential. Since we were kids, we were taught to be ready. Get ready for school. Get ready for exam. Get ready for dinner. When we grew older, we get ready to work. Get ready to be with someone. Get ready to marry. Get ready to have kids. Get ready for everything. Yes, getting ready and be prepared for things is definitely important and I am not doubting that. But the key word here is "Ready" and not getting ready. Getting ready will never prepare you enough to be ready. Gaining momentum is the key to begin. Being ready is the fuel. It's not about getting ready, it's about being committed. Once you are committed to something, your state of mind has everything to tell you how ready you are. I may not be as strong as a bull, but I'm a warrior, I'm a dancer. I'm a warrior who dance with my sword and I love how I am. Yes inspired by Tony Robbins's audio this morning. He mentions everyone has a blue print for life. A blue print we imprinted into our mind based on our perceptions. A blue print is like a metaphor we take on for life. He mentioned these words "Life is a __________" Life is a dance to me. The jazz, the hip hop, the ballet, latin, waltz.. Life is a dance. There are times that require the swiftness and toughness, there are times that require the tenderness and elegance. There are times when you dance free alone, there are times you dance in sync with a partner. Dance follows beats, like how life follows your heart beats. There will be people who would tell you that you are not ready for something. There will be people who would give you a list of things to prepare for readiness.

Next time if any one were to tell you these again. Tell the person "No one is born ready for life. No one is born ready to walk. It's not about being ready. It's about being committed. Ready is a state of mind."

I'm thankful to the person who told me I'm not ready. Because it only leads me to see how ready and committed I'm.

Live in the name of FUN

"Anything that's not fun is not worth doing" - Jeanine from kaleidoscopic island

Destiny Attunement: Making New Choices & Creating New Possibilities

The choices we have today are extensions of the decisions we made in the past. Though our past decisions have a profound influence on our present conditions, we can always make conscious, empowering choices that set a new direction and become a new precedent for the future.

This is how to attune your destiny and create new possibilities. Choose wisely!

Snails hanging out to dry their flooded shells!

This is what happens when the shells if snails get flooded... They all hangout together!

Yogi Cat on a rainy Sunday :o)

Yogi Cat on a rainy Sunday :o)

Insights on Anger

Anger is a passing emotion and there are healthy ways to express it. It's when we hang on to anger that it hurts us most.

When we repress anger, it grows from frustration into resentment. This how we unknowingly began building an invisible wall around us; accumulating layers and layers of negative emotional energy that clouds out the love, joy and peace in our lives.

Do we really know ourselves best

Brush my teeth, wash up, make up. All in front of a mirror. For years, this is the routine. I look into the mirror every morning, looking at my hair, brush strokes of blusher, but yet I didn't see myself. I was too absorbed by the routine that it becomes something I do ritually every morning.

This morning as I was falling into a daze in the train, suddenly I saw a woman in the reflection on the glass window opposite me. A woman with long hair, sharp jaw line, full lips, sit with straightened shoulders. There is something edgy about her. She look confident, stoic, calm. For a moment, I feel almost intimidated by her presence. Yet I can't help to notice this soft lovingness beneath her face and body. The kind of bliss you see in a child. It took me a while to realise the reflection is mine. I'm the woman I saw. We always remember faces of people around us; friends, loved ones. Do we remember ourselves? How we look in the mirror, how our features all sum up together to make this being we are. If you were to ask me to paint of portrait of my friends and loved ones, I would probably able to do so with some reminiscing of moments. However, if you were to ask me to paint a portrait of myself, I'm not so sure if I could do it. This is a valuable insight for me. How do I love myself if I can't even recognize myself in my reflection.

We recognize ourselves when we look back at photos taken. But is it really seeing and recognizing ourselves or it is simply a knowing that we are in the picture. Or is it the moment we remember? All these got me really intrigued.

Just because we are in this body we see in the mirror, does that mean we know ourselves most?

Perhaps next time when someone tell you they know themselves best, ask them to sketch a self portrait.

Here's a mirror reflection of me taken by my friend. First look at the photo, I didn't really recognize myself. I just know its me.

Have Faith in Miracles!

"Faith is not just a theological principle; it is a mental and emotional muscle. It is an aspect of consciousness, a function of the mind. With every attitude we demonstrate faith - either faith in what can go wrong or faith in what can go right. Out problem is that we tend to have tremendous faith in the power of our disasters and far too little faith in the power of miracles." ~ Marianne Williamson in The Law of Divine Compensation: On Work, Money, and Miracles

Discovery vs Recovery

Bird surprised me with a show today; Cirque Du Soleil! Perfect timing to watch the show today for many reasons! I have always wanted to watch, but just didn't get to do it. Oh and how it makes me want to watch them live! A lyrics in it triggers a thought, an insight. "Return to where you belong"

Here's my insight:
There is an invisible line between innovative thinking and imaginative exploration. Like the statement, I feel like I have traveled quite a journey so far and its time to reunite with my core where I belong. The diversity in the show has revealed a side of me that I have almost forgotten. Me who is imaginative and ever changing.

I who is an ever shifting kaleidoscope. The angel, the devil. The existence, the non existence. The dream, the truth. The lightness, the boldness. The colors, the dark. The surface, the depth. The reflections, the perceptions.I encompasses so much more than what I have known for the past years.

So you may ask what's the difference between innovative thinking and imaginative exploration. Here's my interpretation: I have always think, brainstorm for ideas to meet an objective that serves certain function. It's more like a solution to problem approach of thinking. It's a great sense of satisfaction! So what's imaginative exploration? It's about opening ourselves to the intuitive flow, letting imagery fill our minds without a specific objective to solve any challenge. It's more of a journey of discovery instead of recovery. This journey of discovery of letting our imagination grows will add more dimension to an innovative mind and freeing it to new possibilities that we may have missed out when we are all focusing on innovative thinking.

Life is a full circle

"This is going great! It's certainly looking exciting and adventurous!"- this is how I am feeling these two days as I look into the future after having officially announce my new path to my fellow dear ones two days in a row! Magical is the word! I didn't plan for a time to launch myself out there. Neither do I plan what and how to describe what I do beforehand. All it takes was seriously: a deep breathe, a voice of gut and most of all is granting myself to be ready! I said granting of myself because I have been brewing this precious "cup of tea" about what I love to do for a while, I have been mapping out pages of paths, but I never feel ready, I keep thinking something is missing and most of all, I didn't dare to launch! I still do not know how I do it! But it seems that everything is gearing me towards my core, guiding me with light shining on for clarity and receiving the energy from many angels around. All that I was preparing; a website, name card, introduction writeup suddenly seems falling back into a quiet background when I step up and announce the "reinvented" me across the long table of McDonald at a wee hour of a Saturday to my dear friends and colleagues. It doesn't take a name card or a website or a write up to be ready. It is simply being ready. Being is the key! I have read so much about "just be" and "being it". I thought I know what it was all about. Knowing is just first part of the story, knowing prepares your mind for it. But nothing compares to the magic of embodying it and experience the whole moment of transformation from one state to another with almost a flick of the fingers! And sure, it takes passion! To put things in a more accurate perspective, it takes an overflowing of passion to contribute, to share, so much that I am compel to take action to simply give, to share. This is a very interesting lesson or insight gained. We always measure our readiness with the amount of knowledge we have and skills learnt. They are great tools to measure. And thats what I have been preparing. It is good to be prepared as I was taught during my Girl Guide days. But hidden from my knowledge or perhaps under the radar of my consciousness, there is one more key needed to unlock the flow. The key to finally arrive at the tipping point of whichever part of journey we are on. The key of giving, the ability to contribute and empower fellow beings with the light I see in them. I'm compel to unlock them to the light in them.

I do not know about this key. Perhaps I read about it. I know giving is essential in our living as a form of sharing a part of ourselves with others since we are all a part of this universe. We are one. What I do not see until now is that giving activates growth, and a greater being in us that perhaps we do not meet till we first recognize and appreciate ourselves.

This post is an over flowing of my soul, my core. I didn't know how to exactly explain or describe this that I'm experiencing. It is perhaps an unspeakable truth for each of us to experience and tell in our life story.

To be frank, this post has kind of travel further than I visualize it to be and arrive at a place away from where I intended to. It's all good though. I'm loving it and thankful for this journey of flow.

Through this flow, I can't help but to share what I realize; life indeed is a full circle; from recognizing our strengths and ability to give, to receiving the key of contributing, to unlock the flow to activating the growth in us and all. to finally arrive at recognizing ourselves.

Give and receive, you and me. We are one full circle.

Green Friday!

Haunting Thursday!