People we met one way or another

How many people do we pass by in our life? How many faces do we recognize? How many people we missed while we hurrying through life? How many people have our eyes met but went separate ways without a word? A little girl look in my direction as I walk along a park. I caught her eyes but not knowing whether I should look back at her, I forward my steps and passes her. But the way she look at me seems to stir something deeper in me, which lead to this series of questions or rather ponders. How many would we meet again in this lifetime.. Where would we be? 

Questioning these invite my consciousness to be in present, to give attention to people around me at this moment. How do they look, what state of mind are they in? What are they doing? What conversation are they having? What's in their mind? How much assumption we made every day? What other perspective is possible?

Here's a little of what I observes in my commute to office: 

A guy in pastel green shirt holding a bottle of drink that look like lemon honey. The drink drip from the bottle which is probably not tighten enough. He did not notice. 

A lady in black to shirt, speakin over phone via a earpiece. She laugh as she talk, covering her mouth. She is wearing a pair of flats that have a what look like faux snake skin texture. Her hair nearly bun up, pull to the back. Her face is clean with touches of pink blushes. 

Two college girls look pretty alike. Maybe twins. One is tanner than the other. Both have beautiful wide smile. Both carrying same bag design. 

There is a lady breast feeding her baby beneath a aquatic blue covering cloth. 

I can go on and on. It's fun. It's insightful. It's intriguing how humankind don't seems to give much attention to its own kind in daily life. It seems we are living, thinking we are all separate entities, we are each individual. Most of the time we didn't think we have enough time to give attention to anyone else except ourselves; our job, our challenges, our life..our desires.. etc. 

We are big smart mammal with a small view. We grow bigger, having more and more but our views seems to become smaller and smaller as we grow. 

Molecule of music

This got me smiling, grinning in awe of not so much of the music, but the community spirit. The surprise of bringing classical music to the street. Look at how everyone seems to be brought to their feet, how those children "join in" the conducting of the piece of music with their fingers in mid air, flowing with the rhythm, totally immersed. It's such pure joy to experience how little things like this bring so much pleasure to so many human beings that everyone seems connected at that very moment where the music is playing. It's as if each tune of the piece have permeate through the little air molecules that we breathe in and and out all together, hand in hand.

Quality of life vs Standard of life

I actually had a brilliant morning! A fulfilling one! Here's what I have done so far:
7:30  Woke up naturally. Stretching. Breathing, feeling alive watching my hands in the morning light. (No sun though. A cooling morning.)

7:45  Do my "squats" and "semi push ups" (Well I'm still working on doing a full one. One step at a time."

8:05  Sit on my rainbow "meditation cushion" and peep at the clock to see how long I could sit still. (Target 30 mins). Closed my eyes, crossed legs position, looking at the back/ inner darkness of my eye lids (well this is what is commonly told during those brief meditation workshops), "watch/ feel" my breathing through my nostrils (not quite successfully, because half the time, I'm trying to locate my breathes and in turn I get kinda out of breathe), watch the thoughts pass (well, there sure are so many thoughts (like a traffic jam during peak hour, didn't pass that smoothly. But well first timer. At least I remember that it's ok to have a little noise here and there. Good thing! I managed to stay pretty still and sit pretty straight while not intensifying my body. There are birds chirping, construction going on, buses moving, curtain flapping in the wind. Fan moving.....) Not exactly a meditation, but it's a first step and I decided to give credit for that. Oh I realise, for goodness sake, I am such a person who put in effort for almost everything I do, even breathing or relaxing. The thing is relaxing and effort doesn't seems to be that good friends of one another.

8:30  Voila! I managed to open my eyes and there it is the clock strike 8:30! 25mins of sitting on my magic rainbow cushion. Washed up and head down to park behind my house.

8:40  Slow jog in the park. Good breeze. I do love this park more because it seems less people walking around. (Remembering what I read about posture of jogging, fingers gently touches palm, breathing 4 times in n exhale 4 times out (according to AR), chin not jutting out (I realise this is a very good point, I seems to be able to breathe more while remembering to keep my vision ahead but not jutting out my chin for breathe), knees bent a little but not too much, lower legs not stretched out too much. Well I didn't manage to jog complete round the park, but for someone who a week ago was catching breathe walking that park, today's seems like an accomplishment.

9:00 Head home (which is just climbing a flight of stairs up. I feel damn good that I climbed those few steps without the usual heavy panting) Saw a resident cat sitting, snoozing on the bonnet of a car, parked beside the void deck. Didn't have any phone camera with me.

9:05  Took sips of water slowly and regulate my breathe. Sit beside my dad, have a little chat about daily affairs (news on new policies and price hike of public transport, his knees hurting), soothe his knees by touching them slowly and telling him he got smooth skin. Little touch and conversation but means a great lot to me.

9:30 Shower time!

9:45 Bring out laundry for some sunshine or breeze

10:00 Sitting at my desk (I do look forward to a new right height desk and chair when we moved into our new nest because current desk height and chair is not really conducive for working.)

10:20  Done with posting this here. Time for breakfast!

*Note: a little reminder for myself and anyone else... we all know health and our body is the most important thing, physiology is at the base of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs (one of my favourite idealogy) yet all these while, I was trying to scale that pyramid and get to the peak of it (which is self actualization) without accepting or acknowledging that I didn't get the foundation strong enough. Knowledge is one thing. Our daily action is what matters. Sometimes things happen for a reason. A week ago, I fainted in the train, yea dropped blank on the floor, perhaps without a minute of consciousness, my body went numb. Breathing hard. There is a sudden fear of what if this is it. The peak of self actualization not only seems furthest, it seems the least important at those moments. All I wanted was to feel my body again, to be able to move my every body parts at my will. (This is really such an amazing gift that most of us seems to neglect most.) Laying on the hospital bed, watching how water/ glucose was connecting to my veins and flowing into my blood. This is another "revelation"; whatever food or drink we took goes into our blood and tells a story and quality of our life. This is such a simple knowledge. I'm sure we all know. Clearly, knowing is not enough. I always believe in setting goal, grand mission of our life because it determines the standard of our living. But what is more important is not standard of living, it is the quality of living. Standard of living could mean getting certain amount of monetary values, the pride of being accomplished, the ability to give and create. Quality of living is a whole new dimension; it is how well you breathe, how we are working with our body as one literally, what we feed our body, our blood (that's our life line), how clear is our mind, how agile is our body. Our each pulse is a gift and we are given the responsibility and the chance to take good care of it. (I never feel so strongly about this or perhaps I am not even aware of these little skipping of my heartbeats till the moment I was laying on that bed, tied down with wire and drips, while all I could do is watching my heart beats on the little monitor beside the bed.) To live is not to set goal. To live is simply to breathe.

I'm thankful for life. I'm loving it. Every seconds of it.

Time for breakfast!

Soulbirds union with love and joy

Soulbirds are married! Finally! Yes! I'm still listening to "Love is a gift" song as I'm writing this. This is my new life's anthem. Whenever I hear this, I'm filled with so much gratitude and love. For two person from different life to finally unite as one new life.. it is such a joyful moment. It don't just happen overnight. It takes lot of patience, understanding, love and most of all gratitude & appreciation. The certificate of marriage is nothing compared to the a year long of preparation processes, the little hiccups, the differences in concept of planning. It is really quite a process! We were terrified being caught in such process that involves more than just us but families. To think back now, it is perhaps a necessary step to prepare both of us to grow to a next stage of life. Always find a way to work together. Be patient and always holds gratitude in your heart is the key to all relationship. We are fortunate to have friends, loved ones around us to support us and make our wedding a blast! yeah! The moment just before you said the vow is one moment you wont truly understand till you actually doing it. I always wonder why do woman tears during the vow. I thought it was about being so touched. But being at that moment myself, I think its a mixture of anxiousness and gratitude. Anxiousness in taking a leap into an unknown, making that commitment that you will stick together no matter what. Gratitude in having found this person you are willing to take a leap with, you are willing to hold his hands wherever you go and grow old together with. It is no small deal. I'm like a bird, I love to fly, explore and wander. To finally meet someone who can fly together with me is what I'm really grateful for.

A date

It's been a while since I update my being here. Too much updates, too little time. Too fast a thought, too soon it passes.

Listening to "marry you" and reminiscing time with bird. So here I shall begin with my date with bird! There is this cycle where you r in a relationship for some time and the exciting spontaneous moments seems to fade away. Almost everyone tell me this is parts n parcel of a relationship. "It's like that!", people said. But well I'm not an "it's like that" person so I decided to make it a point to go out with bird n call it a date! Yeah! What difference does it make..some may question. We do movie, we do dinner, we take a stroll. We do that other days too. Guess the difference is calling it a date heighten our awareness of moments together and give time for us to connect, instead of being buried under work conversations, reading of books. It perhaps also creates a space where we take a look up close again at each other. The eyes, the hair.. The voice.. The little things that you notice when you first curious about each other. And at the end of the day, I get to go through reminiscing the date we had and being thankful of bird going along with me on having a date and didn't shut me up as being crazy to ask for a date. 

Guess we all have the power to create the kind of relationship we want and live to it. So why simply brush your desire away and tell yourself "it's just like that" Why live with "just like that" when you can create more and live the relationship you wish to have. 

Enough of my musing, here's us in a new found jap restaurant that has nice cold soba! Love how the whole place look so authentic Japanese. 

Groovy Monday morning

Love these song, it makes morning so sweet. I may have wrote about how I love Zooey Deschanel before. Yea I love her style, her voice, her quirkiness. Listening to this song while having my chocolate milk with cocoa crunch, browsing some favourite blogs: ohjoy and ohpioneer. They are not affiliated in any way and it is also now when I wrote the names out that I realise both begins with  "Oh".  Pure coincidence or synchronicity, oh I love them.

Before I sleep last night, these words came to me; It's perfectly alright to not know what we are doing or heading, the real success is in knowing how we can be happy in doing whatever we are doing, wherever we are. So here's how I meet success:

I know what colours make me happy; Orange/ peach/ vintage mustard yellow/ grass green and turquoise.

I'm grateful for having lovely, really loving people around me.
I still play like a kid. As curious as one still.

I watch cats play, live, eat, stroll where I work and live.

I hear birds singing oh so beautifully when I wake.

The sun is bright.

Into the Wild

Good wild morning! Well many thoughts have come and pass, sometimes in between reading a good book, sometimes in between my "ecstasy" over a cup of caffeine and of course, there are other times when I simply just prefer to feel the moment then to focus my head down on my device typing away. I have been having this "wild" word hovering above within me lately. I listen to Wild horses by Natasha Bedingfield yesterday and today somehow I get hook on Soundtracks of the movie "Into the Wild", a movie which I watched from rented DVD years ago. A movie that evoke questions in me and set some part of me longing to be with the wilderness. I don't call myself exactly adventurous person, but I love to be in awe of so much wonders in the wild. CURIOUS is perhaps a better word to describe me.

For those who haven't watch this movie, it's worth watching. Listening to the soundtrack now makes me want to watch the movie again over a cup of hot coffee. What is one thing you long to do but haven't get to it?

There are many on my list and the list seems constantly growing itself. But guess I shall keep it simple.

Here's a two:
1. Find my mission and do something that I could look forward waking up to and with a smile or even laughters on my face every moment, feeling my heart in tune to my body and soul.
2. Travelling to Finland.

Of course there are two things which I'm happy I'm finally getting to it:
1. Bring my parents for a holiday. Looking forward.
2. Getting next stage of life with Mr Owl:)

When the best optimum performance is not result based

I have been trying to wake up early and leave home for work earlier so I could possibly be early. The key is I was trying to break any habit that may be bad. Not for company but for myself. But today leaving at around the same time I arrived at the usual place I change a bus later than the timing u aimed for to catch a bus so I could be early. I got almost frustrated an disappointed with myself just because I couldn't catch the bus which I intended to. I rushed on without getting breakfast. I knocked onto some people who I still think could practice a little consideration for peak hour rush by keeping to one side of the escalator. And as I reached the bus stop with no bus in sight, I started to hear the voice of resentments for myself on a simple thing "what's difference between today's walking speed and previously. Did I walk slower? I should have be more of my timing when I walk" On and on, I hear theses voices till I suddenly realise jeez why am I beating myself up over not able to catch the bus when I have been late for almost the longest time. So I let myself take a back step an instead of focusing when is the next bus coming, I look at the person inside me and here're some lessons I learnt:

1. Whatever that has been causing me distress comes from within, the standards and rules I set for myself. Because I don't care if I'm late since I stayed later during knock off hours. I don't care about whether my boss is happy about it. So why I care this time round, because perhaps out of some habits, I quickly set standards subconsciously when I made my mind to break the habit of being late. While it is good to be aware of habits and make changes, one even more important thing that I have to know is I need to be kinder to myself even though there is a standard to meet. My belief that standards r here to meet if not it loses its purpose is probably not frame in the best perspective. Standards are here to be met but the purpose is whatever objective, vision that benefits. It's not about meeting that standards. It's not about the numbers, in this case, it's not about catching the 8.25am bus. It's about making changes and breaking habits.

2. Appreciate and congrats ourselves for making any baby steps progress will bring us much closer to the intended objective instead of questioning myself for not having optimum performance.

3. The best performance is not results based but how well we could dance through any situation with agility physically, emotionally, spiritually. The best performance leaves room for audience to not just applaud but also learn something or reflect on their own stories and gain insights through the dance.

Lessons, holiday, life

Baby durian found in ubin:) There are soft!

Birds gliding in the sky in evening

I love Cycling.. in nature:D

Beautiful flower spotted by Bird

sitting by the pool, dreaming of being rich

"Swimming" love the view!!

Bird trying to snap a pic of a cat with jade color eyes:)

These been how I spent my time past few days, in fact over the weekends. My one week leave is coming to an end. Tomorrow is back to work. But before I slipped back into a every day's routine, thought I could note some of my experience here:

Had a great time at weekend stay over at Changi Village hotel. Well mainly because the rooftop with quiet swimming pool that opens up to the vastness of sea view and unlike roof top in MBS (which is cluttered with all sort of people), its really simple and idyllic here with birds chirping and flying around. And in the evening, there are bars, local or asian food line up just beside the hotel. It's like an island within an island feel for me. It's a short boat ride to Ubin which opens up to a rustic nature, birds soaring in the evening sky. I saw a pair of toucan birds, large birds, swallows, wild boars, many dogs and baby durian, a beautiful tranquil quarry lake with such nice water. And I'm grateful that I have Bird with me in all these beautiful pictures:)

A lesson about Richness:

In the evening, sitting by the pool with Bird, soaking in the ambiance, browsing magazine that showcases luxury watches, I can't help wondering how could I be rich, what business could I do to be rich to enjoy such exclusivity. I fight for growth, fight for increment, fight for fulfilment but being rich is never in my mind. I just wanted to have enough. What's enough? Well now to think of it, I'm not quite sure of that definition except that perhaps I'm being brought up to do enough, earn enough and keep trying to make enough. But the moment of tranquility by the pool opens up another perspective, another possibilities; Being rich is not for the rich only, being rich is for everyone. Richness comes in many forms. Being with Bird is an enriching experience. Being able to watch the birds and sunset, smell the flowers is richness. Love is richness. Most of all, it's alright to be rich. Maybe some of us are brought up in environment, thinking being rich means sacrifices of time, love and peace. But that night, something shifted in my mind or perhaps soul, rich is enriching. Rich can means growth, exclusivity, contributions, embrace of people, sharing joy, love and peace, power to give and many more. Rich encompasses different interconnectedness among various emotions. To be rich in monetary term, perhaps we have to begin with feeling rich in our consciousness (awareness), feel rich to give.

A lesson on how negotiating conflict in times of crisis is possible:

At night, we decided to watch a seminar video held by Tony Robbins, Negotiating conflict: Leadership in times of crisis. It is amazing how he bring clarity to two persons on polar ends to see each other eyes to eyes and eventually working together to form a association to spread peace. Something that I remember strongly was the subject on the four archetypes that exist in all of us and how to draw power from it. The warrior, magician, lover, sovereign.

A lesson on time:

I been reading a book by Mitch Albom; Timekeeper. "Time became the most precious commodity" something quoted from the book. It has somehow appear in my life for a good reason. At least I think so. I been always worry about not having enough time to do whatever I wanted to do. I worry that I would die too soon with too much dreams unfulfilled. This book shows me a different perspective about time. There is no such thing as time, if we human were not to count it or associate it to something else. We yearn for more time or faster or slower time, all because we associated time to something in our life. Just like I associated tomorrow; Monday to a work day because I have to be at somewhere doing something and everyone calls that a work day. But do we have to? Every day we are doing something, so at work or not, it doesn't have to be known as Monday. Can we associate Monday to fun, excitement? Well we can! And this one week holiday have made me aware of time somehow. Because as each day passes, I'm like getting stressed up about having to go back to work, to face some things that I'm not exactly happy about. But Monday is our time. Besides work, there could be alot more in it. Looking at my activities in one short week, I have many interactions with people, experiences, play, good food, nature, birds, love, knowledge and etc. None of these is really work. I have an issue of not being productive enough. But somehow my heart teaches me that productivity is not about how much work is accomplished but how much I have lived. I do feel that I live a great lot! Being with people I love, experiences that are uplifting. Time perhaps is how much space we gift ourselves. Perhaps guess I would have more to learn after finish reading the book. But right now, yeah! Let us create a space as large as we want in our life.

A lesson on breaths and vision:

I have always have difficulties in breathing once in a long while. Usually at over crowded places with thin air. My vision would turn green, my limbs would be slightly numb and sometimes, my vision would turn black. Yea. I would black out. Some open air and inhaler is good to bring me back. Yesterday, as I had an blackout episode in a bus while sitting down beside Bird. I was pretty much ok, alive, just a little sleepy. I leaned on Bird's shoulder and feeling uncomfortable with the position, I sat up and readjust myself. And suddenly, my vision turned green, breaths became short. Thinking that I would be fine after a while, I was not as fearful. Bird quickly used an inhaler for me to breathe. But my vision turned black. Yes I have consciousness. I tried opening my eyes, but I could only see black. Nothing. I hear voices around me. My limbs turned weak and I lost my strength to speak. Now, I'm really freaking out. I didn't think my life has come to an end. Not like this. That is my thought. I never really like black colour. People in design industry would know white is not a colour. But to me, black is not a colour because it's simply so dark that allows no light to go through, how could colour exist. Of course I know the science of it. But science cant really justify a lot of how we feel. I was so afraid, my thought was so loud "don't tell me I can't see anymore." Bird managed to get me out of the bus, I manage to caught a glimpse of light. But I still can't breathe well, felt really weak. I was so glad Bird is around. Bird brought me to clinic, doctor didn't find anything particularly wrong with me. Very slowly, I breathe again. I regained my energy bit by bit. Everything happened so fast it seems, yet it seems to be a long time. Being able to regain my vision, my energy back to my limbs, my voice, I realise I have so much. Many times, I am obsess with having a vision (a purpose), a dream in life. I have vision to see, to view, to appreciate. That's already a lot. Breathe is invisible, colorless, yet it's something we can't do without. What other things in life are invisible yet we can't do without? This is worth some thoughts.

Destiny

Just watched a show "Jeff who lives at home". Simple, slow paced script with not too complex details yet show us human how each of us intertwine together in some way or another. All of us have our needs. Needs for warmth, love, attention, achievement, withholding our destiny and the list could go on. Sometimes we think too much about our needs instead of following our hearts. We think and stop as that. We dream about how we want our lives to be. We paint beautiful visuals to convince ourselves that we hold our destiny. Do you believe in that? Maybe everything happens for a reason. Just like how the main lead in the show who follows signs to have an idea what is his destiny. And as it turns out in the show, maybe "destiny" won't reveal itself as a complete picture, it is up to us to have faith and complete it. Whatever it is.

Oh is it a sign? haha I just watched Brave today and it seems its sort of telling me we have destiny in our hands, it's up to us to live it...in our own ways.

SOULFUL sOULbIRDS

Lovely:) there are swallows here too!! I love you Birdie!

In the small things, we love....

In the small things, 

Found the love in us.

A love with compassion 

in our souls.

In the small things,

there lives the moments of an universal,

beauty can only be seen

when we allow ourselves to bend our knees

and try a different perspective:)

Love in simplest language

Bee in action again! haha

Fond memories of this wall. With Mummy when I was a kid. And with Bird now:)

Love this pictures that Bird took. Didn't realise I can look this demure hehe :P

My new green!

Soulbirds' Garden:) Loving it:)

Being tourist

Feeling like a tourist!

I love timberland

Bird's eye view of Bee

Moon

Tomato pasta for Bird & Bee

Pasta with tomato sauce.

Spend time meddling in the kitchen today. hehe it feels good to just stay home and have alittle indulgence. Tried something the first time today! I cooked raw minced meat! Yes it may sounds no big deal, especially if it would my mum, she would probably laughing at my performance with the popping mince meats like pop corns! I was taken aback and panic for a moment, thinking how am I going to catch those popping mince meat. It's hilarious to look back now. Not the exact colour I was imagining, but taste edible and that's the key from someone who can't really cook. Cooking my own meals makes me appreciate my mum's cooking even more. It's really hard work and takes alot of passion I supposed. I'm glad Bird eat my cooking heartily and giving me encouragement that's nice! hehe

My golden popping minced meat

Egg tomato mince by Bird!

joy Joy JOY!

I love the beach. The sand looks golden, the grass looks greener:)

Joy is when you feel connected with someone naturally

So finally, I'm up on a tree! I have a secret dream to be a forest child, swinging from branches, sleeping on trees, embraced by flower glowing in the sun, drinking from the nature's source. But I have never climb any tree till now. It wasn't planned. I wasn't thinking too much. All I did was to tell Bird that maybe next time we should go to trees and learn how they curve their body and poses for photos! Thought that was a great way to create a new category of photos! Amazingly, as I was telling Bird about my imagery...he smile and told me he was just thinking that the tree looks like they are dancing. So up I went to the tree, climbing it barefooted. I love how my feet touches the tree bark and how I climbed each step without thinking too much but just one foot here, one foot there and there I'm! It's fun!

looking like a panther somehow haha... I love how Bird capture the very soul of me.

Listening to the breathe of TREE

"How do you judge how much you have done..."

by the amount of joy and happiness and glow on my face...

radiating with love.

It's been a great time! And I have done pretty much. 
oh and I love how Bird leap up the other side of the tree just to give me a kiss! Yea like kids, but it's one of those moments that melts me and make me feel so joyful and grateful.

Little things in life